Other People’s Dunnies

So I’m standing in front of a smeary mirror in an outback caravan park washroom having a shave when this old bloke walks in. “Owya goin? “Great thanks,” (continue shaving while Old Bloke goes into a cubicle nearby). “Whereyaheadin?” says the voice from behind the door (rustling of clothing and clang of belt buckle as pants hit floor). “Goin’ to Katherine then headin’ west to Broome,” I say, going with the flow of outback caravan…

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Defending our sovereign borders – Hoo-ah (0oRah)

I was sitting outside a remote Northern Territory roadhouse in the sun, enjoying a Mars bar, musing on the whys and wherefores of life when I was somewhat startled by the appearance of a troupe of US Marines. I know we’ve been out of touch for a while, but surely this was a ‘friendly’ force… They had stopped off at the Victoria River Roadhouse to buy snack food, use the latrines, saying y’all and howdy…

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The Pittsworth Solution

Here’s a radical plan to help rejuvenate small-town Australia and send a message to the world that yes, we do have compassion for those less fortunate than ourselves. The Pittsworth Solution (I just picked a small town at random), calls for all 2,017 detainees on Manus Island and Nauru to be re-patriated to Australia to live in rented houses in small, affordable towns like Pittsworth. This is not an ideological plan; it is about economics,…

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Don’t Drink the Water

Australia’s fickle weather can pick you up one day and dump on you the next; months of drought can turn in a heartbeat to flooding rains that ruin crops, damage property and erode the land. Rainfall can be prodigious – notoriously wet places like Tully in far north Queensland or Springbrook and Maleny (south east Queensland), can receive 100mm in 15 minutes and some of those places have recorded up to a metre of rain…

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